Sex & Drugs / Travel

“Don’t Move Unless Money Is Involved”

Poker Distraction #1

Poker Distraction #1

While trying to figure out this life of mine, I found various ways to make a buck. For six years I decided to make a career out of poker. Not just playing it but I would make a living also running live poker games. In true gambler fashion I experienced the highs and lows of the lifestyle. The highs are some of the highest on Earth but when things got low, they were REALLY low. One of the things that I found most interesting about the poker player lifestyle was the presence of “working girls”. When I say “working girls” I am not speaking of a 26 year-old school teacher. I am talking about women of the night, women of ill repute…we talkin’ prostitutes. For years, I thought prostitutes were huge only in New York, Atlantic City, and Las Vegas but to my surprise, jumpoffs are just as passionate about the poker circuit as the professional players.

My first introduction to the cavorting came in Council Bluffs, Iowa. I noticed a young woman giving me a major vibe so I approached her. She wasn’t dressed hooker-ish so I just assumed that it was a mutual attraction thing. And then she dropped a Funkmaster Flex sized bomb on me. The “lady” spoke and I quote “I don’t move unless money is involved.” Ever since that day, my ability to pick the “working girls” out has been heightened and has become somewhat a hobby of mine. The minute I walk into a casino on a weekend or during some big event, I play a game I like to call “spot the gold diggers”. I usually spend about 15 minutes tops playing my poker hands before I see a streetwalker asking some poor old gambler for a couple chips. My radar is sharp and it becomes pretty easy to spot one once you know what to look for. So what, don’t judge me! We all like to people watch…I just happen to watch promiscuous ladies screw gamblers out of money!

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Someone looks PAID and someone looks like they PAID

Here’s a funny story I can tell you all. I was in Tunica, Mississippi and I so happen to keep staring at this female. Before you assume I was hooker watching, this lady wasn’t just any normal lady. This chick had one leg! She wasn’t dressed outrageous or anything, I guess it was the one leg deal that caught my attention. After a while I noticed that she was accompanying different dudes around the casino. My hunch was confirmed when I later saw her by my hotel bus having an awkward conversation with a truck driver. As if a one legged lady talking to a truck driver doesn’t sound like a bad joke already, to top it off, I got weak watching her get off the bus with that one leg.  As the truck driver assists her off the vehicle I am busting out laughing!

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Sucks to have one leg…

Long story short, hookers apparently follow poker pros around the country like Mike Sexton. Who can blame them, the money to be made at a poker event is enormous. Even in places like New Albany, Indiana or Durant, Oklahoma you can make bank. You have just as many chances to get rich there as in the major gambling destinations. I end this story quoting what a young lady told me a long time ago….“I don’t move unless money is involved.”

Stay tuned for more stories from the underworld of poker…Comment below!

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One thought on ““Don’t Move Unless Money Is Involved”

  1. Pingback: “The Gambler’s Itch Must Be Scratched” | W.A.G.M.'s World

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